Picture ,No Sound !

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Isn’t it amazing that the one thing that we never really stop doing is communicating. Our eyes say something, when we speak we communicate and it’s not only the words we hear but what we truly intend to say. Our Silence alone also communicates and usually more that the words we actually speak.  A few weeks before we closed for the holidays a woman who lives by our apartment complex stopped  me as I was rushing to my car trying to make my way to work and said “ good morning , honey you don’t want to go to work  do you?” I paused for a second and decided to be honest so I said No mom, everywoman who is old enough to be your mother is your mother in my country and thus I address them as such. I then proceeded to ask how she could tell and she looked down at the shoes I was wearing. She mentioned how she sees me every morning and the way I look sometimes can give her a pretty good idea how I am feeling. So it is true I am always communicating and something as simple as my shoes can tell you a lot. With this in mind my aunt put up something on Facebook , her status read , “I am only responsible for what I say not what you hear”. What if what I am saying is what I am wearing? Think about that the next time you dress up before you leave the house. More than half the people you will come across will not speak verbally to you but you will communicate, do not short change the world ,look the part because you are Fab!ImageStay Fab

My own Worst Enemy

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Women’s day is a day where we acknowledge the strength of women and the abundance of love in their hearts . We open our minds and hearts to  our accomplishments and also to the reality of how far we still have to go in our fight against abuse and injustice.  For years we have identified men as the greatest perpetrators of the injustices that we encounter daily . We  have  viewed them as the hindrance to progress , our greatest hurdle. Men in power  men in our homes and churches. This is true but I acknowledge today that the greatest hurt in our fight has been some women. Their  malicious intent masked as love it has infiltrated right to the core of our struggle.  Women who hurt other women . Women who crush the ambition and dreams of young girls who then grow up to spread their poison to the next generation.  I  now see that not all who claim to be for us fight along for the same cause. Even worse is that they don’t see the impact of their vile words their lack of encouragement lack of hope . We need to see that as women  our responsibility is to ensure  that we raise  and nurture the  generations that follow. We need to ensure the physical , emotional and spiritual health of the next generations.  How far would our nation go lead by imbalanced leaders . It’s our responsibility to realise that the nature of our battle evolves  with the times and so does the face of the enemy. Divided we will fall but United we stand . Self introspection is at this point of paramount importance and we need to kill anything that could be a poison if left  alone too long.

Happy women’s month

Vintage Men and Morden Relationships

I’ve always loved being my own person , a rebel without a cause some would call me . Thing is I just hated conformity.  It kills the very things I enjoy in life. I dated  guys my age , guys younger than I am , young boys stuck in old mens bodies and even older men  but nothing ever blew me away like old school love and romance . The thrill of being chased and the excitement of the unknown move . The battle to impress  . A man only has himself to compete with when he is trying to impress a woman.  If he has more than himself to compete with he is a boy.  I like vintage romance  it pushes one to new limits with each new relationship. Unlike what people do now if a girl should dare play hard to get men give  up. They want it easy and within the first few hours he says or expresses   his sexual desires. I don’t get the thrill in that. I met someone someone a while back and thought that they were different he was older and to my amazement this vintage man had Morden love . Instant I want it now kinda love. The I won’t impress till I get sex kinda romance if you wanna call it romance and that shook me.  Never get it twisted , if a woman knows that you are fighting for her heart you gain her loyalty forever when you win . If your fight is only to nail her you get just that if you get anything at all. It saddened me to think that older people are now changing with the times . He lost the plot the moment he thought I needed not to be wooed .

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The Present as A Gift.

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I woke up the other day to the sound of the rain falling . Nothing is that soothing and comforting to me . At that particular moment of calm it hit me that my laundry was still outside from the previous day and my windows were wide open meaning my apartment could be flooded if I did not get up. I quickly dashed out , got my laundry and closed up and windows and  got back into bed.  Then just like a few moments before my mad rush the feelings of rest and calm came over me again. Life always has moments like that.  Moments that are so amazing but if not met with the necessary preparations can turn into a mad rush. We get so tangled in what we haven’t done we miss the beauty of the moment, the beauty of the rain. Try root yourself in the pleasure and blessings of each moment it’s a gift that’s why they call it the present.  Sort out what you need to and get back to that very moment.

Stay Fab!

Always Half Empty!

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Its always been said that those who are pessimistic always look at the glass as half empty rather than seeing it half full . I think the way we view the glass is dependent on other factors too. Let’s imagine love is the substance being measured in the glass , if I have someone periodically pouring in my glass and it was initially empty then yes it’s half full. Then if I had a glass that was full and I periodically poured our to others with no one pouring in then I could look at the half way mark as half empty. how cool would it be to never be scared to be half empty because someone will fill you up. Knowing that then pushes you to always make space by giving to others what has been given to you. I want to ensure that  I am the reason someone is always willing to half empty their glass to help someone else.

It’s not about giving all you have , give enough to lighten someone’s load and brighten their day. It will help you feel better too. Be the reason their glass is full but they have no fear to half empty it.

Stay Fab!

Each Moment Counts

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Willow Smith said something about how if you fully aware of a moment it can last a whole year and if you not a year can last just a few seconds. I’m not sure what inspired her to say those words but to me she made sense. I’m not one to follow such things but this caught my attention. Think about  How often amazing things happen right before us and we miss them . We are so wrapped up in the things that don’t matter and we let the great stuff pass by. It’s been discovered  that we spend about 4years of our lives looking down at our phones . Not making any real connections not seeing the pain , the suffering and the injustices of the world. We are just not aware… We are unaware of those moments that  just slip by.
I want to capture  the sun’s rays in a jar and keep them for a sad rainy day . I haven’t mastered how to be fully aware enough to stretch out my best moments to a year but I’m holding onto them for as long as I possibly can .

Stay Fab!

Safety First

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Safety shoes arent the most fashionable shoes to wear but they are necessary, especially when you are going to be around things or people harder than you are. It becomes necessary to protect yourself. Sometimes we come across people who are guarded and we judge them because they have built their walls strong and high. They block you out before you even show intrest. Or they pretend to let you in andJust when you think you over one wall you realise there are more walls than you can count and everyday is going to be work…

Its necessary to realise that hurt person is fully aware of their loneliness and the barricades surrounding each important part of their life . They dont do that cause its fun but because its necessary. It takes a whole load of courage to have a soft heart in a cruel world and all they are doing is blocking out things and people who could do more damge.

We are the disappointing type,m we are unrealiable and hurt people without knowing. So when people build walls they know its not fashionable but they do it cause its necessary. Be kind .

Stay Fab!

Time and Time Again.

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We governed by time…. its what controls every aspect of life. Time says life has been long or short , time says its in control. Time pushes us to have children before we get old. Time waisted on potential lovers time waisted doing nothing. Time is arguably our most valuable asset but its the one thing we take for granted. We spend time doing things we dont want to do. Spend time with people we dont want to be with spend time sad and alone when we want to be with others.

Today I really felt home sick. I like my space and I neex to unplug now.
Just random thoughts feeling low , its been a stressful day . Left me feeling alone.

Perfect Love Is Measured in ….?

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How much do you have to love someone for it to be said that you truely love? It’s not like the is an instrument like a love barometer that we can use to measure it. What needs to be done or seen for ones love to be genuine? I guess mine are everyday questions that people dont bother about anymore. I don’t know a whole lot about love, if anything I probably suck at it. Im jealous , very emotional, I hurt easily and struggle with forgiveness. I give way too much too soon and trust so easily you could say i am an idiot. More so i believe I should be kissed slowly, hugged warmly and thought about constantly.

Again , I don’t know much abouve love but I do know how its not supposed to feel . The same way I don’t know much about making shoes but I know that a shoe size six and a half should feel like absolute comfort on my foot. It should hug my foot perfectly loose enough for my feet not to hurt when they swell but not so loose that I cant walk elegantly. Going shopping for the perfect shoe is hard. Then again so is finding a love that meets the definition of a perfect love , whatever the definition really is.
Be kind to the person who claim to love,.

Stay Fab!

Conflicted

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I hold a BA in Peace and Conflict studies with a Minor in Development Studies …. blah blah blah . So im telling you this cause because though i am capable of dealing with various types of conflicts. I realised that I was never equipped with the tools to help me navigate through intra conflict.  The conflict one encounters within themselves.  Im sure I am not the only person to pause right in the middle of their life story and contemplate taking a different route. I can’t be the  only one to  feel like, maybe I want to be on a different path interms of my carrier and all . Ive heard people talk about being choosen by a path instead of actually choosing a path. I need a path to choose me. I couldn’t be more conflicted, I don’t know if I should be faithful to this life path or move towards another.  If I choose another the question is do I have what it takes to walk that path, maybe I should just make my own.

Stay Fab

10 Things Every Black Woman Should Know

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1. I wish I could put your voice in jar, wait for those lonely winter nights when I forget what God sounds like, run to the nearest maximum security prison and open it. Watch the notes that bounce off the walls like ricocheted bullets, punching keyholes into the sternums of every brother in the room, skeletons opening, rose blossom beautiful to remind you that the way to a black man’s heart is not through his stomach, it is through the heaven in your ‘hello’; the echo of unborn galaxies that pounces forth from your vocal cords, that melts ice grills into oceans, baptizing our lips, and so harsh words fade from our memories, and we forget why we stopped calling you divine in the first place.

2. When I was born my mother’s smile was so bright, it knocked the air from my lungs, and I haven’t been able to breathe right since. It’s something about the way light dances off your teeth, the way the moon gets jealous when you mock her crescent figure with the shape of your mouth. Queen, you make the sky insecure, self-conscious for being forced to stare at your face every morning and realize that the blues of her skin was painted by that symphony doing cartwheels on your tongue.

3. Who else can make kings out of bastards, turn a fatherless Christmas into a floor full of gifts and a kitchen that smells like the Lord is coming tomorrow, and we must eat well tonight. I used to think my sister was a blacksmith, the way she baked fire and metal and made kitchen miracles at fourteen, making enough food to feed a little boy who didn’t have the words to say how much she meant to him back then, or enough backbone to say so the day he turned twenty.

4. Your skin reminds me of everything beautiful I have ever known: the colour of ink on a page, the earth we walk on and the cross that hung my Saviour.

5. I’ve seen you crucified too, spread out on billboards to be spiritually impaled by millions of men with eyes like nails, who made mothers of your daughters; so I’m sorry for the music deals, for Justin Timberlake at the Superbowl, and that young man on the corner this morning, who made you undershade your flesh and become invisible. Never doubt, he only insults you because, men are confused. Now we are trained to destroy or conquer everything we see from birth.

6. If I ever see Don Imus in public I will punch him in the face, one time for every member of the Rutgers and Tennessee Women Basketball Teams. Then I’ll show him a picture of Phylicia Rashad, Assata Shakur, Arthur Kit, my mother, my grandmother and my seven-year-old niece, who’s got eyes like firebombs, and then dare him to tell me that black women are only beautiful in one shade of skin.

7. You are like a sunrise in a nation at war; you remind people that there is always something worth waiting up to.

8. When we are married I will cook, do the dishes and whatever else it takes to let you know that traditional gender roles have no place in the home we build; so my last name is an option, babysitting the kids a treat we split equally, and our bed will be an ancient temple where I construct altars of wax on the small of your back. We make love like the sky is falling, moving to the rhythm of bedsprings and Bell Biv DeVoe. Angels applauding in unison, saying this is the way it was meant to be.

9. My daughter will know her father’s face from the day she is born, and I can only pray that the superman complex lasts long enough for me deflect the pain this world will aim at her from the moment she is old enough to realize that the colour brown is still not considered human most places. But my daughter will have a smile like a wheelchair, and so even when I am at my worst, when the Kryptonite of this putrid planet threatens to render me grounded, the light dancing off of her teeth, will transform the shards of my broken body into heart-shaped blackbirds, taking flight on a wing that reminds me of my Saviour’s hands, my daughter’s smile, my mother’s laugh when I was in her womb.

10. Never stop pushing, this world needs you now more than ever…

Joshua Bennett. 

Stay Fab